Family and the Countdown

It always seems that your last month of pregnancy goes by very slowly. I don't really have a funny story to tell or anything that really stands out that I wanted to share. We are just counting down to the arrival of our new baby girl. She is due May 5th but if she is not here by the 8th, I will be induced. I have a feeling we'll be doing the induction as not much of anything is happening. I just wanted to share how thankful I am to have my family. Even though we have our trials and tribulations just like everybody else, I am glad to have my family to go through it with me.

Benji is getting so big and responsible. I put a lot on his shoulders and he lives up to all of it. Alyssa is a handful (to say the least) but I love her creativity and how she loves everyone around her. James is just a ham. I don't know what else to say about him other than he makes everyone laugh.

As I was getting ready for the day two days ago, an overwhelming sense of humbleness, thankfulness, and gratitude (not quite sure how to describe it) came over me and 10 years later I realize even more how grateful I am that Heavenly Father put Ryan and I in each others paths. I wouldn't want to go through all the stuff we have with anyone else but him and I'm ecstatic that I will be with him for eternity. For me, he is perfect (even the times he isn't being quite as perfect as I want him to be). He is amazing and I love him dearly. This little girl is lucky to have him as her dad here on this earth.

Even the days I don't feel it as much, Family is really amazing!!

Innocence of Children

Don't ask me how we got on the subject, but at lunch today Benji, Alyssa, and I started talking about the things they get to do when they grow up. We were talking about how the boys get to go on a mission after high school and Alyssa can go if she wants to when she gets older. We also talked about how they will be able to go to the temple and eventually get married and have their own houses with their families. We were talking about these things for a few minutes and the next thing I know, Benji starts crying and saying how he doesn't ever want to move out. That he wants to live with mom and dad forever. Of course it melted my heart to know that even though I'm an awful parent sometimes, he still loves me despite my faults. But he was really upset about this and started telling me how he would miss the backyard, our cars, and the Wii, etc and that I wouldn't know where he lived. I told him when he got older and had a house of his own he would want mom to come see it, which I would be excited to, so I would know where he lived and, if he wanted, he could live right next door to me. I wouldn't complain.

I tried to calm him down by telling him it was going to be a long time before he grew up so he didn't need to worry about it right now but that didn't work either. He just kept getting more and more upset. Then he started asking other questions like what if Ryan and I died and so forth and I tried to answer those to the best of my abilities. The clincher was when he asked if he would "explode when time ran out" is how he put it. I was doing everything I could not to laugh because I could tell these are things that really bother him. I explained to him that Jesus would come live on the earth again and then we would be able to live with Jesus in Heaven. I'm glad I was able to be calm and have this hour long discussion with him and explain things in a way his 6 year old mind could comprehend. I love when I have these opportunities and teaching moments and hope that he will be able to draw on these experiences with me later in life when he needs them. I love their innocence and I especially love to know that they want to live with me despite my faults. I'm not such a bad mom afterall.